13 Dec 2011
Today we ran into some of our old friends from New York, Gulshan's cousin, her husband and son. She was in Durban participating in the COP17 talks on climatechange, which had just finished up, and they were enjoying some beach time before heading back to Pretoria.
Once on the beach, we weren't about to leave. Here's a peek at what December in South Africa is like:
Sunday the five of us left for Durban as soon as Gulshan's brother got back from work. We had lovely scenery along the way, including Gulshan's waterfall, below. It's hidden in a little nook along the highway, and as you're driving you have to turn back and crane your neck, which she has done every time she has gone past since she can remember. (I think she was sitting backwards in her seat as a little kid the first time she noticed it.)
We got to the apartment where Gulshan's sister and nieces live, where we had a lunch with her whole family together. Gulshan's niece presented us with a sweet gift called a khunchaa, and we had some delicious chicken biryani made by her sister.
Afterwards, we went to Gulshan's mother's sister to visit. She lives near the beach, so Gulshan, her brother and I took a walk down to the boardwalk. It's so pretty along the beach in Durban. We'll be spending a lot of time here.
Friday was a cool rainy day that we spent inside visiting with Gulshan's mother and relaxing. In the afternoon, her brother woke up and joined us for a while before he was off to work - he's covering a night shift for a coworker for a few weeks. It's funny that we're still fairly comfortable in this weather, where people here are really suffering because usually at this time of year it's much warmer and drier.
Sat 10 Dec
Weather was still rainy on Saturday, so we had another day of tea and panchaath. I got up early enough to hang out a little bit with Gulshan's brother before he went to bed. Later in the evening we helped to make food to bring with us down to Durban on Sunday. Gulshan's father makes these famous rusks, a cake-like biscuit to have with tea, so Gulshan helped him to bake them, and I sat at the kitchen table and got a lesson in making samoosas from Gulshan's mother.
Today we visited Gulshan's mother's cousin and her daughter across town. She was a sweet old lady who is ill. After a dinner prepared by Gulshan's mother, as everything has been, we visited the neighbors in the corner house - Parents, son and wife, and granddaughter in one home and another daughter and her husband, with their three daughters next door. The family had been very close to Gulshan's since they moved in, so they are like family and call each other Auntie. I think her husband is the first introvert I have met in this family of social, outgoing people. Funny that he and I, two fairly quiet fellows, have married the two champion chatterboxes of an already loquacious family.
Some things I have noticed. The religion isn't heavy-handed but ever-present. People aren't critical or uptight, like you might expect with some very religious people in the States. Instead they've been very open and welcoming. Everyone smiles and hugs in greeting with an "As-salaam-mu-alaikum" and an "Alhamdullillah" and "Jazakallah". That's where Islam is - in the daily custom. The dress, the food and the speech. It's like I'm learning a new language. The words you use the most - "Hello", "I'm fine", "Thank you", "How nice".
I've heard people mention that Islam has not had an internal Reformation like Christianity. It seems like it would be fairly difficult to be critical of your own customs on such a fundamental level. Although the Western observer should take note that Hinduism, Buddhism, Conficianism, and Taoism had no bloody reformations either. That seems to be an exception, rather than a rule.
It's an interesting experience to speak with people who are at once so candid and forthright and also so sober. I'm getting a picture of South Africa that few other visitors have the opportunity to experience, There are some people who wonder if Gulshan and I will move here and others who commend her for pursuing opportunities abroad. And in a country still adjusting to the end of apartheid, race is a common topic. People here are much more comfortable talking about race and how it impacts their lives (and it does) than you find in America. I imagine it's a consequence of race being such a prescient public policy for so long that it's become a matter of fact, whereas we have a tendency to try and sweep it under the rug and pretend like race doesn't exist. I think it's a healthier approach that they have developed here.
Waking up to a view of soccer city from the front porch. You can see it in the distance just over the roof of this house.
Today we visited one of Gulshan's aunties for lunch. What an absolute dear. Everyone's been fasting for Ashura, including her, but they've all offered us food & drinks when we visit. Ashura is celebrated in different ways in different communities, but the common element among the people here is a fast. Now keep in mind this is not a "no-meat-on-Friday" kind of fast. Sunup to sundown, no water, food or anything else (but air) is to pass your lips. And still everyone goes about their day happily. Quite impressive, and her aunt was no exception. We shared pictures of the wedding with her and she showed us old family albums that she's kept, including a photo she sent along of Gulshan's parents' wedding day to share with them.
We managed to catch a ride down to Estcourt with a cousin's son Gulshan's never met, but was traveling with an empty car. He had an interview in Johannesburg and was heading back down to his home in Durban. He's just two years younger than me, even though technically speaking Gulshan would count as an auntie. He's very well traveled also, so the five-hour ride down the N3 went by quickly with all our panchaath(chitter-chatter). We talked about various places we've each been and how things are different there - visa troubles, health care, and racism. He'll be in Durban for most of our stay here, so he offered to meet up and go out and do some things with us in Durban. He's a wealth of information on where to go and what to see while we're here. He encouraged us to drive the Garden Route to Cape Town when we go to meet Andy and Morgan when they arrive. I hope we'll have a chance to spend some more time with him; he's a solid guy.
At around 7:30, he dropped us off in Estcourt to a warm welcome from Gulshan's parents. We sat and talked for a little while, but slept early. We're still a bit jet-lagged, but Gulshan's got the worst of it. I've been able to sleep fairly easily but she didn't even get any rest on the plane.
This family is so large, and so welcoming. We just met one cousin and already he's offering a ride in his sister's plane. What a wonderful thing, people just stopping in and having lunch on their way through, and being welcomed, even coerced into accepting the hospitality. That's something we don't have as much with everyone as spread out as they are. It's nice.
This is the Central Business District of Johannesburg, on our way out of town:
Here's some of the gorgeous landscape we drove through on the trip down, in the Free State province.
We stopped at a roadside rest in Harrismith, where we got some biltong for the road, and this exceptional sandwich:
Well worth it, trust me. They also have some animals and a small playground outside as well.
Today we slept till 10:30am after staying up until 1:30 in the morning with Gulshan's cousin and his wife. They had extra prepaid SIM cards that they were kind enough to let us use while we're here. After lunch we set out to visit some of Gulshan's family in Lenasia, a suburb of Johannesburg. They use the word "suburb" here to mean a subdivision or neighborhood, as well as an outlying town. But when you see how the city is laid out, you realize there's not much to the distinction. Much of Joburg is very flat and spread out, rather than vertical like you'd see in New York, for example, so a residential neighborhood can look as if it were designed by Frank Lloyd Wright - winding loops of roads, lined with ranch houses, each with a carport and small yard and enclosed by a low wall. In recent years those walls have been extended a bit, but Lenz, as the family calls it, is still cozy and quaint.
There we visited Gulshan's eldest uncle on her father's side and his family. I've heard stories about stress visiting in-laws, but they were the most pleasant and delightful people to visit with. Her uncle is a charming old man, very active, animated and youthful. You'd never guess he's 74. He chatted to us about all the traveling he's done to Saudi Arabia (for Hajj), India and other places, the whole time punctuating his stories with his hands and eyes. I spoke with his son-in-law about his garden and his animals for a while. He's very proud of it and should be: he planted or raised every living thing there, from the peach tree to the chickens. It was nice on a first visit to find something so familiar to talk about.
After a few hours visiting everyone, Gulshan's cousin brought us back to his house. He has the most darling children, two fraternal twins, a boy and girl. His son spent the evening chatting away to me about his soccer team and his family's bicycles, all the while riding his bike in circles on the back patio. What a sweet family. They're in the middle of moving to a new house and still they're putting us up and taking us to visit people.
Not bad for a first day in country. Below is a photo of the Soccer City Stadium, built for the 2010 FIFA World Cup, and the sunset view from the front porch.
Today we went to what's called a khatham. The neighbors' mother/grandmother died 10 days ago, and this was a ceremony for her. Gulshan's mother and some other ladies - 10 in all - read through the Qur'an to ease the pain of the deceased in the grave. This is done 3 days and 10 days after a person die and then each Thursday for a month. We, Gulshan - her father and I - arrived at the home of the lady's family after the reading and prayers, as did several other people, just in time for a meal of kheer, haleem and mutton curry. Food is a very important part of the culture here. No matter what happens or who you see, you eat. No complaints here.
Our first flight went off without a hitch. Uploading video from take-off is proving a bit glitchy, however. So for now, we're hanging out in the KLM lounge until our flight out to Johannesburg. Nice comfy chairs and cool decor. Hopefully we'll get some video up here soon.
LMG
One day left to get everything buttoned up! I'm getting excited. This morning was a crisp 25 F/-4 C. With a clear sky and a bright sun on the horizon, I took a walk around to capture the frost on the grass. I mention in this video that it's 2010. That could just be wishful thinking (I just had a birthday), but more likely, I hadn't yet had my coffee. Rest assured, this video was taken on 2 Dec 2011.
First half:
Of course, instead of pressing the zoom button on my new camera, I ended the recording. Here's that zoom in.
